my name is fiona (fatfi hoping to become fitfi! ) i'm 41 and live near oxford with my hubby and 4yr old son. i'm a ll returner but am back (heavier than before!) to do it properly this time. am hoping to loose 6 stone and along the way change my way of thinking to become a "normal" person with regards to food watch this space x

18 Aug : 18:09
i'm so fed up!! [ Show blog ]
don't know why but i'm really fed up i've got a whole load of crooked thinking going on. i actually found myself envying an overweight person i went past cause they get to eat all the lovely tasting food i can't. how wierd is that its almost like i've forgotten how unhappy being fat made me. all i can think of is food esp choc and i want it now!!
have managed to stay abstinent but don't know how lo...
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17 Aug : 08:57
i'm going to be bankrupt!! [ Show blog ]
still feeling uncomfortable in this slimmer body but just sitting with it . i reckon i've only got about 3 or 4 weeks left on packs. this is both exciting and terrifying!
went shopping yesterday as i had a day off. was only going to buy school uniform for sam who starts school in sept but ended up buying 4 tops for me (hence bankruptcy!!) what a great feeling to try stuff on and it fits (they were ...
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13 Aug : 10:28
i don't know who i am ! [ Show blog ]
haven't blogged in ages we've had trouble with our router (os something i'm afraid i'm not technically minded!!) so haven't had internet access. no blogging and no shopping!!
could have done with the support on here cause i'm struggling at mo and its freaking me out a bit don't know if i'm the only one feeling like this? i don't recognise myself when i look in the mirror and see a slimmer person lo...
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28 Jul : 09:01
still plodding on! [ Show blog ]
can't believe its been so long since i posted. i've been so tired . work is an absolute nightmare, we're really short staffed so it seems all i'm capable of is to work then sleep!! (my 4yr old even asked me why i sleep so much!)
anyway still sticking with packs (the only control amongst chaos!) lost another 4lbs on fri so weight loss still good. still feel no excitment about it some days its just a...
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17 Jul : 22:49
weigh in another 5 1/2 pounds of lard gone! [ Show blog ]
lost 5 1/2 lbs this week yippee! its good motivation to keep going,
very stressful day at work today thang god for coffee and vanilla shakes i love them!! x
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14 Jul : 08:45
why no excitement?? [ Show blog ]
haven't blogged for while cause don't know what to say apart from whinging. lost 4lb at weigh in so thats over 3 stone now which i know is great but why no excitement?? first time i did this i felt great really excited with each weight loss but this time nothing! i'm wearing clothes i haven't worn in years (some a size 16 and i started a really tight 20) but still can't muster any excitement. what...
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14 Jul : 08:45
why no excitement?? [ Show blog ]
haven't blogged for while cause don't know what to say apart from whinging. lost 4lb at weigh in so thats over 3 stone now which i know is great but why no excitement?? first time i did this i felt great really excited with each weight loss but this time nothing! i'm wearing clothes i haven't worn in years (some a size 16 and i started a really tight 20) but still can't muster any excitement. what...
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04 Jul : 22:04
so miserable!! [ Show blog ]
haven't blogged for ages cause i'm such a misery and didn't want all my blogs to be negative!
weigh in on fri and lost 2lbs was dissapointed to be honest which i know is silly but still! did get measured and have lost 5 inches off my waist which i was really pleased about
just can't get over this low feeling last time i did ll i felt great i had loads of energy which kept me going. this time i feel ...
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26 Jun : 23:53
another 4 lbs of lard gone! [ Show blog ]
weigh in last night lost another 4lbs which i waswell chuffed about. really good meeting last nite did stuff on crooked thinking which i do a lot. inbterseting stuff.
really proud of myself cause we went out to pub with friends everyone was eating and drinking and i stuck with water. made some crisps from thai chilli foodpack (which are yummy) and took those so i had something to nibble on. didn't ...
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24 Jun : 20:59
still a grumpy cow! [ Show blog ]
am still miserable and grumpy but at work today so can keep myself busy and much more structure to my day.
just wanted to say big thankyou to everyone for their words of support and encouragement yesterday. it helped me a lot. the support from this site is phenomenal and makes me feel i canb conquer this thanx guys xx
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23 Jun : 21:54
nearly ate some shortbread [ Show blog ]
had a really bad day todayjust felt really miserable and low. at home with sam today so this afternoon i made some choc shgortbread (still got the baking thing going on! ) spent the rest of the afternoon fighting myself not to go and eat the whole lot. kept going and opening the tin then closing it. managed to resist (just) but only by going to bed when oh came home. what is going on? i wasn't hun...
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22 Jun : 21:45
everyone seems to be having a barbie! [ Show blog ]
the sun is out and all i can smell in the garden is bbq's! the last few days have been ok i've been in the zone and not too bothered. then today i'm miserable again. its stupid cause i feel lots better, clothes are fitting that i've not worn for ages but the voice in my head is still going "its not fair i can't eat, everyone else is having a barbie and enjoying themselves its not fair its not fair...
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19 Jun : 12:17
weigh in last night [ Show blog ]
lost 5lbs so that makes 2 1/2 stone!!! am very vey happy about that. trying to be really positive and focus on how far i've come and not how much i still have to do. i'm nearly half way there!
am worried about maintaining the loss. i've never ever maintained a weight and since i was 18 i've either been on a diet loosing weight or pigging out putting on weight. i've never eaten "normally". i need t...
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16 Jun : 15:53
these crisps are fantastic! [ Show blog ]
no i haven't fallen off the wagon!, i've just made crisps with chicken pack and they're great. really nice to have something to chew!
still going one day at a time although must admit its getting bit easier, so long as i keep busy i'm not having so many "but i need to eat" moments.
had the first person tell me not to loose too much today and that i look fine as i am. now i look better than i did but...
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13 Jun : 10:32
two stone of lard gone! [ Show blog ]
weigh in on fri lost 4 lbs which takes my total to two stone! really pleased am really starting to feel the difference.
still not enjoying it, feel knackered but just getting through each day one at a time cause i need to do this.
x
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10 Jun : 14:45
i'm developing a shortbread sniffing habit! [ Show blog ]
very stressful at work today in the middle of major refit and its hell! my usual stress relief is chocolate but as i can't do that i need an alternative! as previously blogged i have become obsessed with baking made shortbread for girls at work and it smells fantastic. so everytime i feel stressed i'm nipping out to tearoom to sniff the shortbread! think i may have finally lost the plot but it is ...
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08 Jun : 14:25
i've thrown away my granny pants! [ Show blog ]
ahven't written for ages and to make a change from all negative stuff i've been saying thought i should write down some of the good things about loosing weight and how i'm noticing it
1- have thrown away the granny pants! the huge ones i needed to keep my enormous belly in check! now the belly isn't so enormous i could almost pull them up to my armpits! not a good look!
2- i have a gorgeous troll be...
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01 Jun : 14:47
still bit miserable but just going with it! [ Show blog ]
still feel low this morning but have decided not to fret about it. ok so i'm not going to skip through this part of programme like i felt i did last time but maybe thats for the better. they reckon that if you have to work at something its more effective.
keeping myself busy walked to town pushing sam instead of driving (more fat burnt i hope!) sam's asleep on sofa, its hard work being pushed you k...
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31 May : 18:13
the house is so tidy! [ Show blog ]
its bank hol weekend and the house is so tidy cause i need to keep occupied. am thinking about food all the time and feeling really fed up cause can't eat any.
still feeling really tired and dizzy if i stand up too quick! don't remember feeling like this last time. didn't mind not eating cause i felt great. now i'm not eating and feeling crap and its getting to me . can't stand feeling like this fo...
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29 May : 12:37
day 21 weigh in last night [ Show blog ]
weigh in last night and lost 6lbs which takes me to stone and half:D: and well chuffed with that it makes the week worthwhile.
still feeling really tired is this normal? when will i get loads of energy like i remember having last time? OH got up with sam and let me have lie in bless him didn't get up till 11 but still feel knackered! hope it improves soon as don't want to spend rest of abstinence...
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27 May : 19:58
* day 20 soooo tired! [ Show blog ]
can't believe how tired i feel.(:| one measly half hour spin class yesterday and i felt like i needed an afternoon nap! don't remember feeling this tired last time but maybe i've forgotten about it.
big conversation at work this afternoon about going out for a curry. thats the worst thing aout this. i know i could go and not eat but how hard would that be! am just being antisocial at the moment, ke...
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25 May : 21:57
day 18 whats going on in my head? [ Show blog ]
day 18 and all going well. hadn't thought much about food kept busy as at home with sam on tuesdays (my house has never looked so tidy as i try to occupy myself! lol ) been to the gym to a spin class which was knackering but made more enjoyable as i imagined fat being burnt.
had to nip to sainsburys after as sam's preschool has cake stall tomorrow which i'd forgotten about and delia smith i am not ...
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24 May : 15:51
day 17 [ Show blog ]
its day 17 and i'm feeling good. weekend great no cravings which is much better than wkend before. think i'm getting into swing of things now.
only problem now is its so hot and i've got mostly soup packs. has anyone tried any soups cold?
nightmare day at work as they're refitting shop i work in so there's stuff everywhere. keeping busy so i don't think of ice cream!
feeling positive at mo hope it s...
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21 May : 22:03
day 14 weigh in [ Show blog ]
lost another lb so thats 15 now. am really chuffed! drank more water today and did feel better for it.
found out in meeting today that stomach rumbling isn't a sign of physical hunger but just something our bellies do who knew?
starting to bond together in group everyone really supportive of each other which is great
good day toady x
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20 May : 19:40
* day 12 tough today [ Show blog ]
really tough day today have felt really hungry most of the day and i don't know why. its been full on stomach-rumbling hungry so i don't think its in my head. busy day at work which has taken my mind off it. think an early night will be required so's i don't go off the rail. why is today so hard? thought once i was in ketosis i wouldn't feel hungry. maybe it is in my mind i've thought about food a...
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19 May : 21:44
* day 11 i can run without my back hurting! [ Show blog ]
well i say run it was more a steady shamble, i think at one point a man walking his dog overtook me lol. the gym i go to has a ladies beginners running group which i've been doing, few weeks ago i had to stop going because i was so heavy my back hurt each time now i've lost just one stone it doesn't i'm so happy imagine what a few more stone off will do (might be running a marathon next month lol)...
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18 May : 21:27
1st weigh in [ Show blog ]
went for 1st weigh in tonight as i missed meeting on fri due to holiday, OMG i've lost a stone already! i can't believe how great this programme is i'm so happy(*)
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17 May : 21:55
day 9 [ Show blog ]
feeling better t hsvr hearoday than yesterday apart from back at work after great wek off!
tried chilli con carne foodpack tonight. quite nice bu bit hot for me i'm a bit of a wooss when it comes to spicy things! have heard you can make crisps whith them but not sure how to do it. don't know if anyone reads this but if anyone knowsi'd really appreciate knowing. anything so i can feel like i'm actua...
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16 May : 17:24
day 8 this is tough [ Show blog ]
was really positive this morning but now am struggling. all i seem to have done all day is visit the loo (does this slow down please? am getting to the stage of taking a potty with me if i plan to leave house!) and think about food. seem to be hungry today, stomach keeps rumbling and i'm really cold. if OH was here i'd go to bed because at least you can't eat if you're asleep! he's out at footie s...
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16 May : 10:10
day 8 going ok now [ Show blog ]
now on day 8 and what a week its been. been to cornwall on hol for week took laptop to record my journey but of course no internet access anywhere!
first meeting good other members seemed really nice and llc very positive. hughe shock at weigh in its so easy to convince yourself you're not that heavy really but the hard fact is i'm the heaviest i've ever been.
days 1-3 hard, really hard. nearly gave...
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16 May : 10:04
day 8 going ok now [ Show blog ]
now on day 8 and what a week its been. been to cornwall on hol for week took laptop to record my journey but of course no internet access anywhere!
first meeting good other members seemed really nice and llc very positive. hughe shock at weigh in its so easy to convince yourself you're not that heavy really but the hard fact is i'm the heaviest i've ever been.
days 1-3 hard, really hard. nearly gave...
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04 May : 23:06
newbie [ Show blog ]
am new to this blogging but not to ll. lost 6 stone 4yrs ago but am back to try again having put all back on. due to start abstinence on sat am nervous bout it. would appreciate any advise esp from any other 2nd timers are the 1st few days as bad as i remeber last time?
have been reading other blogs every 1 seems really supportive of each other
here's to the rest of my (thinner) life
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